Kenneth Branagh intended Artemis Fowl to be like "Michael Corleone in The Godfather," obviously

Disney released Kenneth Branagh’s Artemis Fowl this weekend, transforming a film that likely would have been a wet fart at the summer box office in any given normal year, into one that can now safely live on in perpetuity as a wet fart in the digital eternity of Disney+. As Roxana Hadadi noted in our review of the…